A Little Sunshine ^_^

I felt truly tired out at work even before lunch today. The only thing in my head as it was nearing time to go home was I should really get a good dose of ZzzzzZzzz.

Then while stuck in the superb traffic jam (forgot tomorrow is a public holiday in Penang)... I just stared up blankly to the sky.

Then something caught my eye.

It was a sweet little girl waving at me from inside of the car in front of mine. She looks about 4 or 5 years old and she was holding on to her baby bottle with plain water in it.

I waved back and smiled at her.

For a split second, the little girl seemed surprised and didn't seem to know how to respond to that.

Then she decided to wave again and smiled at me. I smiled back.

In that short moment, the tiny sparkle in her eyes told me that she was happy that I responded to her wave and that we shared a tiny secret moment.

Such a small thing that happened... but it made my otherwise long and wearisome day... a really good one.

P/s: Squeaky... if you are reading this *ahem* thanks for the extra pillow and snacks when I'm too tired to move myself to get lunch earlier today.

Blind Faith and Optimism

No matter how tough or wearying the journey be
Its knowing that getting to the destination
is something absolutely and definitely possible

I can see ever cheerful and colorful rainbows
at the end of the deepest and longest tunnel
and feel that all will be well sooner or later

I see the sun and daffodils ahead of me
and sprinkle pixie dust in the darkest hours
to see the sparkles light up the gloom

And glowing with the beam of a sunflower
Ever expecting for all that is meant to be
I accept in blind faith all that come my way

For with every twist and turn bringeth new
an experience that makes me whole in a whole new way
and along with it a new story for me to pen

Some Introspection

Recently, I've been told by 2 different people that they feel good after having talked to me when they are feeling kinda emo. Over a longer period of time, there have been others who have told me the same.

Apart from the friendly ear that I have to lend, is it the calm optimism that I share via my often simple but offbeat philosophies or analogies? Or something else? Some kind of X-factor?

Then on a separate note, I'm not sure if I still have that odd knack of finding people who are exactly the right kind of wrong for me... you know the sort that causes you to hurt yourself in some way or another eventually.

To elaborate on this, someone once told me that I have issues with actually wanting to be with another because I unconsciously latch on to people who are unattainable. If I was in USA, I'm sure someone would just say go to a shrink and find out what childhood issues is causing this and then break out of the pattern.

On yet another note, something about what Kalamari said... I am starting to believe that when you impart part of your positive energy unto the less positive or muddied... you could feel the drain... because all of a sudden... I do feel somewhat tired spiritually. Or I'm just feeling crappy because of being on Day #5 of having symptoms of the flu - the whole block nosed + dry cough shebang.

It's 1:10am now... I should sleep. Get a recharge. When I do wake up, it's going to be a long day of hosting some relatives in the house.

Typos: A Source for Comedic Moments

Typos during chats can bring about the most hilarious sentences. They are not limited to chats that you have with your friends - they can also show up in the most mundane work-related chats that you are having with a colleague.

To illustrate this point, let me share with you the funnies from my own chats with the people I know.

Scene 1:
I was asking a male colleague (he's a happily married chap) if it was a good time for discussing about some report

Reply received: "Give me a sex"
Intended reply: "Give me a sec"

Lesson: You must have a really good sense of humor and a good head above your shoulders to not take offense to this particular accidental line. You see, the letters "X" and "C" are right next to one another on the keyboard. We laughed over this one knowing that it was a weird and truly accidental typographical error.

Scene 2:
I was feeling kind of tired and there was a discussion about coffee in a conference chat with some friends.

I typed: "Copy is good"
I meant to type: "Kopi is good"

*Note: Kopi = Coffee (in Malay)

Lesson: When you are tired, you will end up typing anything that sounds close enough to what you intended to say.

Scene 3:
A friend was feeling totally zoned out towards the 2nd half of an 11-hour shift at work after less than 4 hours of sleep the night before. I was joking that he should not end up killing himself in the process of completing some urgent errand that he needs to attend to after his shift ends.

Reply received: I'm too clumsy to kiss myself even if I wanted to.
Intended reply: I'm too clumsy to kill myself even if I wanted to.

*Note: There was an "OMG" that came about 5 minutes later when my friend realised the typo.

Lesson: We may type out words that don't even sound anything like the word we intend to use when we are dead tired, as long as the word we end up typing out begins with the same letter and contains the same number of characters.

Lolz... playdoh...

Today I was just chatting with DL and it suddenly struck me that we shared quite a large number of opinions and certain characteristics. I mentioned that to DL the moment that thought came to me and started joking that it's like we came from the same pea pod. But yes, we have slight differences as individuals.

DL thought about it for a bit and replied saying that we could be made from the same mold... except that he was the test unit that didn't quite pass QC while I was the improved version which has the QA acceptance chop. Lolz.

That cracked me up since it sounded as though someone up there was playing with playdoh.

Lolz.

Past, Present, Future

Dwell and dawdle not in yesterday - it is history
Celebrate the lessons history holds for you today - it is your present
Use your presents well to reach your goals - it is your future

2009 in rewind...

Looking on the year that is now ending, I must say that this year has been one heck of a roller coaster ride.

There has never been a year as eventful as this one.

I've found people whom it felt like I've known them my whole life, and lost them a few months later.

I've had to deal with a person who had been strictly told straight to his face many times before that I was not interested - who wanted to let me officially diss him anyway. What a loser and sucker for punishment... Tsk, tsk.

I've had the "pleasure" of dealing with a Psycho Bitch (who was later promoted to the title of Deranged Psycho Bitch). She was a majorly insecure person who could see no fault in herself who needed to point the blame to any convenient target... that happened to be me. She created a whole fantasy in her head based on what above mentioned loser innocently reported to her about... and harrassed me for months via SMS and calls to my handphone saying I am the person responsible for causing the failure of her marriage. Blasphemy! Lies!

I have to thank Khim Hun for keeping me sane during this time and Jaselee for taking the last call she ever made to me.

And since I've mentioned about people that have my thanks, one other person deserving a mention is LT - the one with a lot of piss and one of the gang for "sesi harian: tembak Jeneral Jibby"... but also because he's the one with the car jumper cable when my 2 year old car battery breathed it's last in the "safari".

I've finally gone to Gua Tempurung... in the company of Yinglai, Jerry and some nutcase who brought a whole lot of photography equipment... and every time the water level was insanely high... we had to wait for said nutcase to safely maneuver the equipment across the body of water...

I've lost my aunt to cancer. God bless her soul. She was still looking towards doing many things if she ever had the chance to get better. However, her body had slowly shut down on her before that day would come for her. I admire her for her strong will to live on (I'm getting tears just writing about her)... She was often mistaken for my sister; shared my interest in watching animes, doing jigsaw puzzles and reading. She was only 43.

I have had the joy of playing a part in the weddings of 3 friends - and each of them are from my different social circles. One was my classmate in high school, another was my fellow student councilor in college and the last one was an ex-colleague's.

* Yinglai's jimui session has to be one of the most hilarious ones I've been to (there's a video on this where I have been tagged)...

* Ashwin's dinner reception was one that allowed me to re-live the experience of being part of an event planning committee... I've seriously not had to run in heels (the way I did for his reception) since the last Grad Ball! ^_*

* Huei's was one where it was a reunion with the PCS girls... (Beng Beng is still as nutty as I remember her to be... and oops... I think I still haven't sent over the photos I took!!!)

I have learnt to bite my tongue more often... But it's still not enough... Need to work on being less hissy when people are asking the same questions to me for the n-th time. Time to be more diplomatic when I deliver the "RTFM" line.

I still talk like a bullet train to the people I am comfortable with. (Please tell me to hit the brakes sometimes... ^_^)

I know who my lifelong heartfelt friends are... You folks are the sparkles and stars in my sky no matter where you are!

Just in case she makes noise about why her name is not listed in full sight... Joce, see above. *hugs*

P/s: The status message I've put up pre-Christmas... they are for you people too ;)

It went like this... just in case you missed it...

Everyone comes into your life for a reason, to teach you something (thank you!) or to learn something from you (you are welcome!). To each and everyone who means something to me - Merry X'mas and Happy New Year. It has and will always be a blessing to have known you.

Nothing But Best Wishes For You

20 minutes past midnight, I posted the following on my facebook:

Towards the stars I reach on a clear night sky
and grasps upon the stars within my reach I try
With nothing in hand I look above
and wish the best for all whom I love.

I didn't understand why I felt the need to write this.

Sometime around noon... while I was still at work... I was informed that my aunt (mum's youngest sis) had passed on. Her body had weakened tremendously in the past 2 months due to cancer.

Now I understand, that I probably sensed it was coming... to have written something like this in the first place.

Videos from 15Malaysia

The 15 Malaysia Project is a collection of 15 videos done by a group of independent directors in Malaysia. The topics in each of the these videos are related to things that are common in the socio-political space within Malaysia. Get ready to laugh your socks off... some of these videos are terribly hilarious while others are on a more deadly serious note.

Here's a sample of the hilarious-kind:

And another one:

To check out the other videos... go to the 15 Malaysia website.

p/s: They made it to the 2009 Pusan International Film Festival too.

It's only June? You are so kidding me!!

So many things have happened that I still can't believe that it is only June. 6 months into 2009. Yes, only 6 months?!!!

I've found new friends... including a few really great ones who helped me through the drama I've had to go through (see 2nd paragraph below this one). You people have helped to keep me sane and stopped me from going majorly bonkers or feeling helplessly shattered. Thanks for making me laugh and for showing me other perspectives when I needed it. Though I'm not sure why it does feel that as the dust is settling, some of us are drifting apart... perhaps you were just passing by to help me move on through a phase in my Journey. I'm kinda sad about this drifting thing but nevertheless I'm grateful that I knew you.

Not to forget are the people who will always make me feel a lot more anchored even when I'm not. These are the people whom I may not see for weeks or months or even years and yet we can talk to one another as though we have never been apart during our little gatherings. They are the same people whom I've known since school/college days. (Totally unrelated but I'm proud to say that we've successfully kept in touch... and that there are people who envy that little fact that we are still in touch after all these years!!)

Now to the drama part. I've been wrongly accused of being something/someone I am NOT by a frankly Super-Psycho-Delusional-Person. I've been stalked by same SPDP whenever tension breaks yet another high-strung thread in her weird mind... that has the unfailing ability to churn up yet another fictional bad soap opera-worthy story angle... and harass me whenever they pop-up in her pea-brain.

I've also found out that a certain person who claims to be a friend has absolutely no ability for remorse because he is too stupid to understand that what he says will have a cause and effect on other people... even when the fact is pointed out bluntly to his face. Loser. Moron. Nitwit. May Karma deal with you for the trouble that you have caused.

Bitter. Sweet. In. 6. Months.

Oops! My bad...

In the last few weeks, I've normally taken the following strategy when going for my weekly swimming routine. This normally takes about 40 minutes to complete:

- 2 laps of breast stroke
- take a breather and do some stretches (in the pool)
- 1 lap of freestyle
- take a breather and do some stretches
- 1 lap of freestyle
- take a breather and do some stretches
- 2 laps of breast stroke
- take a breather and do some stretches
- 1 lap of freestyle
- take a breather and do some stretches
- 1 lap of breast stroke
- take a breather and do some stretches
- 1 lap of freestyle
- take a breather and do some stretches
- 1 lap of breast stroke

Last week, I managed to use that same format and squeezed in an additional 2 laps

Today, I decided to try this:

- 4 laps of breast stroke
- take a breather and do some stretches
- 1 lap of freestyle
- take a breather and do some stretches
- 1 lap of freestyle
- take a breather and do some stretches
- 1 lap of freestyle
- take a breather and do some stretches
- 1 lap of freestyle
- take a longer breather and do some stretches

Things were looking real good at this point since I've managed 8 laps in 20 minutes... so I tried to get to 12 laps again... and continued on by doing:

- 1 lap of freestyle
- take a short breather and do some stretches
- 1 lap of freestyle... err... then this happened...

A slight tug in my right calf muscle told me that a cramp was setting in halfway into my 10th lap. Luckily I was swimming on lane 2... which is pretty near the side of the pool... and doggy paddled all the way to the side of the pool where I could hang on too while I massaged the stricken muscle.

I finished my other half of a lap using the breast stroke and without the kicking action. It was super slow to reach the end of the lap doing this... but that's the only way I won't totally sink into the water since the calf muscle needed more rest time. Exerting it would mean a lot more pain that would extend all the way to the base of my right foot.

I guess I should have taken a longer breather and enjoy some stretches before I jumped into swimming my 10th lap...

So I've learnt my lesson. Even when the going is good... one needs to pace one's self according to one's physical ability at a certain point in time. Don't go beyond your limit!

The best Friday in a long while

Gluttony Session #1

It all began with a team lunch with my colleague's at OXO (Queensbay) to celebrate 2 birthdays and 1 farewell. Here are a few photos of what we had (wasn't quick enough to snap a photo of some of the other dishes before the food was attacked)...

After the main course, there was desert... and yup... I didn't take a photo of that either.

Anyway... gluttony session #1 was pretty good. We enjoyed the food. However, I must say that the waiters have to be a bit more alert since they didn't even know how to clear the butter plates without being prompted.

To be fair, as a considerably new outlet, OXO probably needs a little more time to get their staff up to speed in terms of service skills.

Gluttony Session #2

Dinner was at Spice Market, Rasa Sayang Resort, Batu Ferringhi. This was with my parents to celebrate the 31st Anniversary of their ROM. Among the stuff that we ate included lobsters, scallops, plenty of fresh sashimi, oysters, mussels, yabbies (crawfish), and etc. This was accompanied by at least 2 glasses of wine each.

We had so much food that we needed to take a breather before going for the desert. So while just sitting around, I decided to take a photo of the table deco-piece: spices on a stone plate.

After some time, we headed on to get some dessert from the buffet line. While we were having our 1st coffee, the Rasa Sayang staff surprised my parents with this:

It tastes as awesome as it looks. So yummy! ...and with all that chocolate goodness, we decided to have a 2nd coffee.

After dinner, we decided to go have a nice long walk up and down the Batu Ferringhi night market. That really helped to ease off the feeling of being utterly bloated. *phew*

The Sing Song and Drink Beer Session

Ho ho! It's not yet the end of my very long Friday night... it goes all the way into 4am.

When I got home, it was about 12:30am but I am in no mood to go to sleep yet. Joce was pretty much up to going out and about too. She found out that her friend was in Red Box and does not mind extra company.

So we headed to Red Box, sang a lot and drank a few bottles of beer each.

The best part of all was it was raining when we were leaving! We giggled like little kids as we ran to my car (it was parked in one of the public parking lots along Gurney Drive)

Seriously... running in the rain was kind of a dream come through. It's been a while since I've had the opportunity to run in the rain ;)

Of course... by the time I got home... it was a must to at least take a shower... because I surely do not want to catch a cold.

In short, it was a way incredibly awesome Friday!!!

Hot, hot, hot day out!

The day started early enough for me today... mmm... say like 7:15 AM... so that I could go for an early morning swim with my dad.

Before leaving the house, I remembered to send a message to wish my buddy (Hun) good luck for the Penang International Dragon Boat race... and a playful note of caution to not walk into anymore gaps in the ground. In reply: aside from a laugh and a note of thanks, I was asked to go back to sleep... bugger that!

Anyway, I finally got about to my swimming around 8:30 AM and I must say that I'm pretty happy with finally managing to squeeze in 12 laps (in a full Olympic-sized pool) within 40 minutes. The most important part is I could walk out of the pool without feeling that my feet would give way... you know... as in the jelly-legged feeling... when your leg muscles totally refuse to hold you up anymore.

This surely is quite an improvement from about a couple months back when I could barely squeeze out 10 laps in about the same amount of time without feeling all jelly-legged by the time I got out of the pool. Getting back into some kind of weekly exercise routine from an almost no exercise routine was kinda tough... but it had to be done to drive up my energy level (and hopefully my immune system too).

Anywaaaaay, when I got out of the pool... it seemed that I may not have a chance to go to the Teluk Bahang dam to be a spectator at the PIDB race. Seems like everyone who originally planned to go decided that they didn't want to go after all. That's kinda sad really... I've never gone to check the event out even after saying that I'll check it out next year in every year for the past few years.

Then I just chanced to ask Chin if she's already there or planning to go watch the race... and it turns out that she's planning to go there after lunch. So we decided to have an impromptu lunch together at about 1:30 PM before heading up to the dam.

Boy it was hot, hot, hot! Luckily we brought a supply of water to drink. As a precaution, I had also made sure that I had applied some sunblock before going out today... best idea ever... if not I would suppose that I'd be sunburned to a crisp!

Ok, so Chin headed first towards her ex-team. She used to row but have now shifted her attention to competing in marathons. Then we went to see the next race that was running.

I even had a butterfingers moment... dropping my bottle of water. Dang... 60 degree downward decline! Thank god I was wearing my sports shoes and that I am pretty good with hiking. Climbed down to retrieve my water bottle... the precious ambrosia that I probably couldn't do without on a day like this.

As the races were going on, Chin told me a lot more about the stuff that normally happens during a DB race. Not bad... learnt something new today. Spotted Hun as he was walking back to his team's tent after a race so I waved to say hello.

Chin and I did a lot of walking from the viewing area to her ex-team's tent. We normally walked to the teams' tent area in between races ^_^

Other people I managed to spot at the race included Jibby (the photo-sniper); and Azmy and friend. It so happened that Hun and his brother were walking back to the team tent area (one of those occasions) when Azmy was spotted... so we all had a little chat session.

It all finally ended around 5:30 PM. Ahh... my water supply was depleted by then... I must say it was rather interesting... though I'm not so sure that the best was done to get people up to the dam to view the race. Maybe there'll be more people there tomorrow as the International races are scheduled to commence throughout tomorrow...

Oh I have to say this though... the poster design for this year's PIDB is really nice!

Hope...

Though I know that we may never be
what I hope we could some day be
Does it matter that I care for you still
when all I can see is a cold empty void
where there should be more soul in you?

You may never know what I feel for you
I was never brave enough to tell you so
I can see you when I close my eyes
and smile to myself when I remember
something silly that you have said or done

Wistfully I hope against hope
but it's a dream I can never hold on to
So I tell myself it's time to let go
be thankful of what I have in front of me
and yet hope has a life of its own
I can only hope that time will lead the way

*sigh*

The more I think about it, the more my head hurts.
So why do I think about it?
I might as well flick a switch to forget about it!

*Sigh*
But as usual...
Things are easier said than done.

*flush!*

Nope... that didn't work either.

About an epiphany I had about myself

A few months ago, a friend told me that I have set up invisible walls to keep people away from coming close to me. Even though I appear at a glance a most cheerful and friendly person, I just have a knack of keeping people at arms length away from me and never allowing people to get within that wall.

I just realized that I do have these invisible barriers set up around myself. I don't really know how or why exactly they were built up around me unconsciously... but it sure is time to start letting go and start living.

I guess I'm just starting to tune-in to knowing myself better... and I sure need to learn how to give more trust to others like how a child would trust a person they are comfortable with.

Probably the "trust no one" concept that was occasionally droned on by either one of my parents throughout my teens and college years caused me to do this to myself... but nevertheless... it's not something that I should hold on to.

My dear friend, thanks for spotting all this about me. It's slowly helping me to be my own true self. I know it's been annoying for you to point things out to me point blank without my initial recognition of what you see in me... but hey! It's starting to hit me in the face... so yeah... thanks.

Last Day for Submitting Borang BE

This year... there is no community service announcement from me... so I'm just gonna gloat.

All you last minute people out there, happy queueing at the LHDN offices. Alternatively, happy trying to get the e-submissions page to load.

I heard it's loading extremely slowly from a colleague who stayed up until 5am to complete filing his income tax claim... just because the site was not responding at about 10pm... so he tried to get into the site again at around 3:30 AM (after watching some EPL footy and playing games)... completed submission only at about 4:45 AM... HEBAT!

May patience be with you... but you should have done your income tax submissions earlier... like me... and whoever else who did it more than a week ago.

To rub it in... I did mine like 3 weeks ago. Go me!

Good luck, all you last minute kakis!

Watch out for team Brawn GP in the 2009 F1 GP season

Those who have followed the F1 sport will know that Ross Brawn was a technical director in Ferrari - back when Michael Schumacher was still driving for the team with the prancing horse.

Today, Ross Brawn has his own team. It is simply known as Brawn GP and he has financial backing from Richard Branson. "The" Richard Branson who owns the Virgin group of companies. And... this team used to be the Honda team that was No. 9 on the Constructor's Championship at the end of the 2008 season.

An amazing feat was done today. Brawn GP drivers Jenson Button and Rubens Barrichello passed the checkered flag first and second respectively in the Australian GP (Albert Park, Melbourne).

In short, a new F1 team makes an incredible debut by sweeping in a big bag of points into their pot.

Oh... and the Brits must be awfully proud. A British team and a British driver won the race. Moreover, there is also much hope that they can dominate the season and take over as the best constructor. Last but not least, there is a likelihood that they can help put another Brit up there as a world champion (driver's championship) after Lewis Hamilton's feat last year.

What's not to like in the eyes of the Brits?

Another realization sets in

In just a few days, it cannot be more apparent that my grandpa's mind ability has deteriorated sharply.

The clue was when he kept talking about his next appointment with the specialist on Friday morning.

But the clincher was when he asked me, were were we earlier.

Oh - my - gawd !!!

And the other thing was he speaks a lot more than he normally does at home... but mostly to ask about the most mundane of things.

It was a matter of time before it happened. We knew it would get full blown one day. It seems, he's almost there. The dementia thing. Ahh... time to hone more patience when talking to the old man.

Living with a stubborn geriatric

Everyone gets older. Your systems slows down eventually. It's common sense.

However, gramps doesn't seem to think that he is any older than he was 5 years ago. He's been having vomiting spells in the last few months. He's been choking on food. Why? We know why...

Firstly, he still stuffs his mouth full as though he has not had food in days. Not a very wise thing to do when the muscles in his digestive system is obviously slowing down.

Secondly, he obviously doesn't take his time to chew his food properly.

Thirdly, he is too stubborn to steer clear of foods that he should try to eat way less. When he gets annoyed that we are nagging him too much, he shouts at us saying we want him to go to the netherworld ASAP. WTF!

Fourthly, he seems to like avoiding the doctor... because he thinks he is his own best doctor. That is sOOoooo annoying. We have to nag him and drag him to go for a checkup.

Lastly, did I mention that the only person he may listen to is my dad? Bless mum and I if for any reason dad is traveling and we have to deal with the old man on our own.

*sigh*

And yes... I do wonder why my grandpa would rather suffer with the vomiting than to take the necessary precautions to avoid this complication in the first place. That's what any other sane health conscious person would do though it seems... that kind of logic just does not compute in gramps head.

The most I can do is watch and probably help to clean up after him... and have a superb amount of patience. I've been known to answer back to his more ludicrous comments... but I know... I should hold my tongue more in front of the old man... even if it kills me... I just need to vent my frustrations and opinions elsewhere. Like now... on this blog... or to my friends.

Edit, 2:30pm: Oh god help me! I've just spent the last couple of hours... cleaning up the house... this time... drips of diarrhea leading from the living room... and bombs away in the bathroom. Oh man... the walls, the walls... were hard to clean...! And all this before gobbling lunch too... errRrrk... o.O