Memorable excerpts of the 75th Oscars as covered by Entertainment Weekly...
Michael Moore's moment of glory: "On behalf of our producers, I'd like to thank the Academy," says Moore, who's greeted with a standing ovation. "I've invited my fellow nominees on the stage with us, and they are here in solidarity with me, because we like nonfiction. We like nonfiction, and we live in fictitious times. We live in a time when we have fictitious election results that elect a fictitious president."
And though we interrupt here to mention the boos and shouting now competing with Moore's speech, the determined Oscar winner continues...
"...We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons, whether it's the fiction of duct tape or the fiction of orange alerts. We are against this war, Mr. Bush! Shame on you, Mr. Bush, shame on you!"
Well, it's not an awards show till somebody gets booed off the stage.
And the Best Actor goes to... Adrien Brody, a surprise winner for his role in the Roman Polanski-directed The Pianist.
And a little gold dude is not the only thing Brody is taking home tonight...he takes the stage and plants a full-on wet one on Berry. "Whoa! I bet they didn't tell you that was in the gift bag," Brody says to a still shocked Berry.
"There comes a time in life when everything seems to make sense. But this is not one of those times."
"This film would not be possible without the blueprint of Wladyslaw Szpilman--this film is a tribute to his survival. And I'd like to thank Roman Polanski for the role of a lifetime." Brody is about to be scooted offstage as the music cues, but the first-time Oscar winner is having none of it.
"Wait one second, one second, please, one second, cut it out...I've got one shot at this," Brody says, as the music dies down. "This fills me with great joy, but I'm also filled with great sadness tonight, because I'm accepting an award in such a strange time. My experiences making this film made me very aware of the sadness and the dehumanization of people in times of war, and the repercussions of war.
"And whatever you believe in, whether it's God or Allah, may he watch over you, and let's pray for a peaceful and swift resolution," says a teary Brody to a standing ovation. "I have a friend from Queens, who's a soldier right now in Kuwait, Tommy Zarbinski, and I hope you and your boys make it back real soon. God bless you guys, and I love you."
Best Song - Eminem (How'd that happen?!): Babs Streisand, donning tonight's oh so popular black garb, lists the contenders for Best Original Song. And the winner is Eminem, for his 8 Mile soundtrack tune "Lose Yourself." It's the only song not performed at tonight's ceremony.
Eminem couldn't--or wouldn't--be in the hizzouse tonight, so his sport coated and basketball jerseyed cowriter Luis Resto accepts. "This all goes to Marshall. He's creative, and he has symphonies in his head."
Most deserving of an Honorary Gold Dude goes to... Before we get to contemplate the fact that Eminem just won a freakin' Oscar (!), Meryl Streep is at the podium to introduce the man who's nabbing tonight's Honorary Oscar, Peter O'Toole. The clipfest of O'Toole's greatest hits unfolds, and the actor, who had initially refused the invitation to tonight's festivities, takes the stage to yet another of tonight's standing ovations.
"Always a bridesmaid, never a bride, my foot!" quips O'Toole, who had been oft nominated without ever taking an Oscar home, prior to tonight. "You've given me this delightful shock. Good night, and God bless you."
And the woman taking the most eligible gilded escort home with her tonight is -- as Denzel says, "by a nose"--Nicole Kidman. (Or as we're saying, "scoreboard" to Tom Cruise.)
The Hours star, sans schnoz, steps up to accept her award. "Now I have to think. Dave Hare, I need your words. I have such appreciation and gratitude for this. Oh, Russell Crowe said, "Don't cry if you get up there," and now I'm crying." Sniff, sniff. "Sorry. Um, Stephen Daldry, you took a huge chance on me. I'm so grateful. David Hare, you gave me wonderful words to say. [This is the part where Kidman exceeds the five-name-maximum thank-you list.] I'm absolutely thrilled to be standing up here tonight. Why do you come to the Academy Awards when the world is in such turmoil? Because art is important, and because you believe in what you do and you want to honor that, and it's a tradition that needs to be upheld. I'm standing in front of my mother and my daughter, and my whole life, I've wanted to make my mother proud, and now I'm going to make my daughter proud."
The 2nd "heart attack" at Oscars: If you've stuck around until now, you're as curious as we are whether Martin Scorsese will break Gangs of New York's losing streak (the historical epic is zero for eight at tonight's ceremony) and his own unlucky streak (the famed director has been nominated four times but never won).
And getting right to the point in announcing the Best Director nominees is Harrison Ford. Indy rips open the envelope and reads the name--Roman Polanksi for The Pianist. Wowza! That sound you heard was our jaw hitting the floor. This has to be one of the biggest upsets since, well, since the unexpected Best Actor win for Pianist star Brody. Because first-time winner Polanski is indisposed (that is, he's a fugitive living in exile in Paris), Harrison accepts on his behalf while the audience tries to adjust to the shock.
[Click here for the full account of the Oscars]