Random ramblings from the heart…

I haven’t really thought about this much until a recent chat with Shakila over MSN. It went something like this:-

Shakila: I think I should match you up with someone when I come back. I’m good at this
Me: What’s with everyone trying to get a boyfriend for me?!
Shakila: I think it’d be cute.

Cute? Awww... erm... okaAay. Then I start reflecting other episodes with similar tunes. Here’s one from a recent gathering with some schoolmates:-

Pam: Do you have a boyfriend (Mei echoes the question)
Me: *rolls eyes* Erm... no.
Pam: Haiyar! You must be too fussy. *tilts head*
Mei: Don’t be so fussy lah. *smiles*
Me: *chuckles* Oh yes, I’m fussy. (Agrees so I do not have to elaborate further)

Here’s another episode that happens almost every time I have a gathering with this group of people - where the mother hen of the group, Ling Ling, steers most of the conversations:-

Ling2: Aewis, have boy-boy already or not?
Me: *shakes head* Nah... not yet =)
Ling2: Eh! If the rest of you see her with a boy-boy, please... tolong broadcast to the rest of the group.
Peter: Wei, wei, wei!! Not only broadcast to the group... must sebar for everyone else to know (and all others in the group start trailing on about this...)
Me: *wishes I could hide and attempts to change subject*

Alright! So what’s wrong with not having a significant other?! Gee-wHiZ!! Not that it’s a must. I’m still young. I love what I have now although occasionally for the past few weeks... erm... ok... months - I've asked myself whether I’m still sorta in love with a certain someone.

I know the people who knew what happened between us think that I should forget about him. I really agree with them and think that I should let him remain as the friend that I’ve now taken him to be. But it seems the question now pops its ugly head once in a while because we have stopped avoiding one another, and we have now become closer friends than before we broke it off 1.5 years ago. I know this is dangerous ground to thread upon... and yet I’m still walking on it.

I think I shall take this one day at a time and see what life has in store for me. I may yet meet my certain someone, someday, at the right time, at the right place... or who knows if in some odd twist of events I end up being with him again? By the way, what seems a good reason to reconsider about him is because of the bizarreness of how it happened and how it fizzled out. It was just really bizarre. But remember... I’ll let life lead me to my destiny. (I’m just pondering out loudly...for once... so please don’t bombard me, ok?)